Number 2

Did you think I was talking about albums still? GUESS AGAIN! I'm talking about the bathroom. Anyone who, like me, has worked for an hourly wage ought to know about the joys of a little something that I like to call Normal Business Hours.

FACT #1: Everyone goes to the bathroom - it is scientifically proven. Ordinarily, this is not cause for celebration. We routinely and monotonously do our "business" every day. (Side Note: A computer cannot do any sort of "business"). It's not something that we often talk about. In fact, some people even try to act like it doesn't happen. (Side Note: Many celebrities will not admit that they make poo-poo. In a recent interview, Angelina Jolie claimed that: "I have never pooped. Ever. Even when I was a baby.")

FACT #2: As long as you aren't one of those lame-ohs who get paid a salary, then your employer compensates you for "hours worked." In other words, you have a time-sheet or a time-card or a time-cube, or something that keeps track of how long you've worked. Your employer then multiplies your hourly wage by the number of hours that are recorded on your time-sheet. Can you see where this going?

FACT #3: NORMAL BUSINESS HOURS means that you can take care of your "business" while you're on the clock. It might be a small consolation, but I know that I have, at times, taken great joy in the knowledge that I am getting paid for the time I spend standing in front of the urinal. Especially if it's a busy or stressful day at work, you can always find a reason to smile when you go to take a quick baño break and realize, I am actually getting PAID TO POOP. And that, my friends, is the joy of NORMAL BUSINESS HOURS!