Twilight...BLEH!

Unless you live in a cave (or unless you are a very well-informed cave-dweller) then you know about Twilight.  These books have become a huge sensation, reminiscent of the Harry Potter Series.  There are four books in total: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn.  And while I have not read all four, I have read the first one and am now stuck with the question: WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?!

At the risk of offending anyone who likes the book, I have a few issues to discuss.

1. The first two-hundred pages of the book can be summarized in one sentence.  "Bella moves to a new town and meets a very good looking boy named Edward, who acts very strangely around her, leading her to fear that Edward dislikes her."  NO JOKE!  It takes two-hundred pages to say this!  The last one-hundred pages are decent - they tell about how this super-vampire (he's a "tracker" so watch out!) tries to eat Bella and fails - but a three hundred page book should have more than one hundred pages of story!
2. This book was written for middle school girls, but it sounds like it was written by a middle school girl.  Here is a typical scene:

"Edward," she said, staring up into his too-perfect eyes.  "Promise me you'll never leave."

Edward grimaced and said, dangerously, "I shouldn't be here.  I shouldn't be talking to you.  This is too dangerous."  He smiled dazzlingly.  "I would never forgive myself if something happened to you," he said threateningly.

She gazed longingly at his body; he was like a greek god.  "But I love you," she said, enigmatically.

He didn't answer, he just got in his too-perfect Volvo and drove away at a speed of 200 mph.

Bella flushed with rage.  She couldn't speak.  She shook her hands angrily.  "I love you," she said tenderly as he drove away.  "And I always will," she said ominously.  "Until the day I die," she said, even more ominously than before.

My point is this - I wouldn't be suprised if Cormac McCarthy

 ate a bowl of alphabet soup and barfed up writing better than this!  And I'm not a book-snob.  I loved Harry Potter.  I liked the Da Vinci Code.  I'm not some guy who only likes James Joyce (pictured with eye-patch).  But I have my standards and Twilight is almost unreadable.

3.  I can't believe Edward doesn't bite her and turn her into a vampire like she wants him too.  That was extremely lame and was only done so that she could have a reason to keep writing books and making more money.  I don't have a problem with her making money, but when she RUINS her story just to cash in on the franchise a little more, I think there's a problem.  (Spoiler Alert).

SO...I'd be happy to hear from any fans of Twilight who can tell me why I'm wrong.  Maybe the next books are better; maybe they are "too-perfect" (Stephanie Meyer's favorite vacuous adjective).  But I just don't see what the fuss is about.