If Grammar is Your Pet Peeve, You are My Pet Peeve

Are you a grammar snob? Let's find out. Read the sentences below and see if they bother you.

• I hope their not angry because of my grammar. [their, there, they're]
• Where are you going to? [dangling participle]
• It's important to always do your best. [split infinitive]
• The tree is tall. It's limbs are long. [it's, its]
• "How are you doing?"... "good" [adjective v. adverb]

Now, believe it or not, there are people who get upset when they hear or read sentences like those above. They say things like, "Jeez, learn to spell, idiot!" or, "Really? You're doing good, not well? Are you running around fighting crime or something?" These grammar snobs also say things like, "I can't stand it when people mistake it's and its. It drives me crazy."

To which I say, "Really?" Is a split infinitive really that distressing? There are literally PIRATES pillaging things off the coast of Somalia, and your (just kidding...you're) upset about dangling participles? Of all the things to be concerned about!

Side Note: In one of my classes this semester, I wrote a paper about the sonnet cycle, Astrophil and Stella, it was returned to me with the following grade and comment: B+ Needs more Grammar.

In conclusion, the next time someone asks you how you are doing, don't think about it; just say "good" and get on with things. And if their (just kidding...they're) upset by your bad grammar just tell them this: "If grammar is your pet peeve, then my pet peeve is you!"