BREAKING NEWS: Santa Claus is not a Home-Wrecker!
>> 30 November 2008
The good news is that this means Santa Claus is not necessarily a lecherous monster.
The bad news is that the situation described in this song is still really strange. There are two main interpretations of the scenario described in the song.
- "Santa" = Santa. If the person identified by the singer as "Santa" really is Santa Claus, then this is, without a doubt, the most horrifying song ever written (yes, even worse than "Fergilicious"). The thought of Santa Claus traveling from house to house, smooching all the married women along the way is not a pleasant one. It would imply that Santa Claus is a home-wrecking skirt-chaser.
- "Santa" = Daddy. If the person identified by the singer as "Santa" is actually Daddy, dressed up like Santa Claus, then this is, without a doubt, one of the strangest families in the world. First: is it normal for parent's to dress up as Santa when they go to put the presents under the tree? I can't speak for everyone, but I don't think this normally happens. Second: the singer claims that his parents thought he was "tucked up in his bedroom fast asleep". If this is true, then who was the costume for? Think about that...then shudder! Third: how stupid is this kid? What was his thought process? There is a man in a red suit who looks like my Dad, kissing my mom...OH MY GOSH IT'S SANTA CLAUS! Idiot. And finally: this song does not have a happy ending. The resolution is that the kid still believes in Santa, AND, believes that his mother is cheating on his father. He'll probably cry when he thinks about what's going to happen in a few months when the Easter Bunny comes around.
I know the song is supposed to be cute - the boy doesn't understand that [SPOILER ALERT!] Santa doesn't really exist - but seriously, this song goes too far. Is it worth preserving this kid's belief in Santa when it comes at the expense of him thinking that HIS MOTHER IS HAVING EXTRAMARTIAL RELATIONS WITH A MYTHICAL CHARACTER?! Come on!
In conclusion, "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" is the most disturbing Christmas song ever.
Did I miss any possible interpretations of the song? Post 'em!
4 comments:
I had to explain the Santa = Daddy thing to Christian last year. He still insists that, even though it's the only explanation that makes sense, it's not implied anywhere in the song. I insist that if I could figure it out when I was seven, you and Christian should have been able to figure it out on your own.
Didn't Michael Jackson sing that song?
I agree that this song is somewhat creepy. Another creepy holiday song is "Baby, It's Cold Outside." Ashley will argue my point, but I am thoroughly convinced that the song is about date rape. The female singer obviously is trying to get away but the male singer tries to use the weather to convince her to stay. When that seems to fail, he resorts to a more dastardly tactic. The female singer asks "Say - What's in this drink?"
Lyrics don't lie!
Joel, you are too funny. I almost wet my pants this morning thanks to you.
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