Preparing for The Kentucky Derby

>> 16 April 2009

The Kentucky Derby is coming up soon. Here are a few fun facts about the Derby, as well as some advice about how to name a race horse.



Fun Facts:

  • The Derby is always held on the first Saturday in May.
  • The traditional drink of the Kentucky Derby is the Mint Julep.
  • The traditional meal is Burgoo, a stew-like dish which is basically made by combining whatever meats and vegetables you have on hand and adding chili powder until it's no longer gross.
  • The fastest time ever was set by Secretariat: 1:59 to run 1.25 miles. Not bad considering that Secretariat never even learned how to read.
  • Seabiscuit never ran in the Kentucky Derby, but if he had, I'm sure he would have won. That horse knew a thing or two about running.
  • All of the horses are on steroids. Seriously.
How To Name a Racehorse:

If you have ever watched a horse race, you might have noticed that all of the horses have stupid names. Apparently, it's part of the perverse pleasure of owning a horse to be able to say, I have a race-horse that is worth millions of dollars and even if I give him a stupid name, people will have to take him seriously. I'm sure, at some time or another, you have come up with a hilarious name and secretly wished that you could give a child that name, only to realize that it would be cruel. That is what horses are for, so that you can use those names. Anyway, here are a few of the names I would consider for a race-horse.
  • Triple Bypass
  • Speed-Donkey
  • Winner of The Kentucky Derby
  • Brown Streak
  • Peter, Paul, and Mary
  • My Little Race-Pony
  • Your Ad Here! (1-888-ADSPACE)
Unrelated Video:

This guy holds the world record for most claps in a minute. I can tell he would be the life of any party.



What would you name your race-horse? Leave the names below!

2 comments:

kelley April 17, 2009 at 11:39 AM  

Steppensteed. Ha. Get it.

And that guy is WAY too excited about clapping. And when the camera doesn't show is complete arm... it looks downright cartoonish.

Anonymous,  April 20, 2009 at 4:34 PM  

This is completely inappropriate. But I was thinking that of your recommended names, I really liked the 1-888-ADSPACE the best...so then my mind immediately jumped to what would be some different ads that would run...how horrible that my brain instantly inserted Viagra. I am so tired of those awkward ads!!
In other news...our family used to live in a neighborhood with a street naming system based on the Derby. It was called Rose Run, and then all the streets were famous horse or jockey names. I liked it. We lived on Cannonade Ct. See: Wikipedia 1974 Kentucky Derby Winner.

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