The Weirdest Fortune Cookie in the World

>> 24 September 2008

You probably heard about China during the 2008 Summer Olympic games.  But,as it turns out, China has been around for a long time before the Olympics.  In fact, many of the things that we use everyday were invented in ancient China:
  • Paper
  • Printing
  • The Compass
  • Kung-Fu (as well as the lesser known wushu)
  • Gunpowder
  • Noodles
  • Accupuncture (pseudo-science)
  • Silk
  • Paper walls
  • Chopsticks
  • Forks (No joke.  The fork was invented in China long before chopsticks were)
  • Fortune Cookies (especially fortune cookies!)
This evening, after I finished my "House Fried Rice Special" from Beansprout Chinese Restaurant, I looked forward to opening my fortune cookie.  So, imagine my COMPLETE AND UTTER ASTONISHMENT when I read this fortune:

"The Master doesn't take sides same as your spouse."

What?  I assume that a captialized "master" is God.  All punctuation here is the same as it was on the fortune.  I have been trying to add my own punctuation to decipher this fortune.  Here are my best guesses:
  • The Master [God] doesn't take sides, same as your spouse.  The implication being that God does not take sides and neither does my spouse.  This shouldn't make much sense to anyone who has read the Bible because it seems that God sometimes does take sides! (Destroying Angel anyone?).  And Rochelle (my spouse) also takes sides, though without the same dire consequences of God's taking sides against Egypt.
  • The Master doesn't, take sides same as your spouse.  In which case, the message seems to be that if you don't know what God's will is about a particular question, then it's best to be on the same side as your spouse - practical and prudent.
  • The Master doesn't take sides same as your spouse.  With no punctuation added, my fortune seems to say that God never takes the same side as my spouse - which leaves me with a tough dilemma in which, no matter which side I pick, I am going to be facing some wrath.
So anyway, if there is anyone out there on the internet who can help me solve this dilemma, I welcome your input.  What does my fortune mean?  Are fortune cookies 100% accurate?  What's the strangest fortune you've ever gotten?  HELP ME INTERNET!

5 comments:

Vlazny's September 25, 2008 at 8:31 AM  

I particularly like your last interpretation. Most days life feels this way. Wrath!

Noel Anderson September 26, 2008 at 12:20 PM  

Hahaha. This is a great post. If you truly want strange fortunes from your fortune cookies you must go to the China King at the corner of Cary Pkwy and Tryon Rd. Ashley and I went the other night and both our fortunes were extremely bizzare.

Courtney September 28, 2008 at 11:29 AM  

I did a post on fortune cookies a while back and used the same picture of the cookie as you! We are now blog twins! Yay!

PS - I think you should pick the interpretation you like best, pick up a nice red pen, and add the needed punctuation to the paper. Evidently I am a fan of the "make your own fortune."

kelley September 29, 2008 at 3:28 PM  

There is actually a way to heat up the fortune cookie in the microwave to soften it and insert your own fortune into the cookie. What great potential to mess with people.
Also, I am currently reading a book on the Chinese food craze in America. Very fascinating. There was actually a law suit to settle who invented the fortune cookie. It went to a Japanese man in San Fransisco. They aren't even Chinese! What in the world!!

Anonymous,  August 27, 2012 at 9:58 PM  

I got he same fortune except mine had ; between sides and same

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