I'm Sorry Internet - No Trillions

I'm sorry internet. I have tried to goad you into a game of chess with me, but apparently, one billion dollars is not a good enough prize to entice EVEN ONE SINGLE PERSON to play against me. I guess it probably is due to the fact that the dollar is pretty weak right now. I would offer to make it a trillion, but I'm afraid I just can't afford to do that. Honestly, I was going to have to take out some loans to pay the one billion dollar prize, and a trillion just seems out of the question. To put it in perspective, this stack of money is less than a trillion -- since a trillion is mostly just a HYPOTHETICAL NUMBER!. (side note: I like bolding and italicizing key words and phrases. It makes me sound insane!)

If I were to lose this game of chess and were to pay my opponent at a rate of ten dollars a minute, I would be paying for 3,155 years. So, anyway. Way to go internet. I'm sorry that I can't even buy your internet camaraderie. I hereby rescind my challenge. The gauntlet (see images for examples of gauntlets) which was once thrown with such gusto has now been ingloriously picked up off the ground and put back in the place where I used to keep the gauntlet.

Side note: Where did they throw the gauntlets back in the day? On the ground? At the unguarded face of the foe? I think that would be the coolest. If someone threw a SOLID METAL GLOVE and hit me in the face with it, I would surely want to duel that jerk.